Some Rewrites.

I like looking through my old posts from time to time to see how much I’ve changed. As you probably know, I hate seeing my old work, and I’d really like to prove to you that I’ve improved. It’s still awful, but better.

Chapter 7-8: Hair Problems and Important Announcements

I woke up in the exact location I had before. Everything looked the same, except for the position of the sun in the sky.

I walked over and took a look in the same mirror, noticing I was the same woman I was last time; though I wasn’t as scared when I saw my reflection.

I wandered into the same room, and found some familiar people among the many that were the opposite. The crowd of unrecognizable people made me feel sick.

I wanted to run and hide from overwhelming strangers, but was stopped by Aphrodite and a comb.

She grabbed my arm and tried dragging me away, but I pulled in the opposite direction.

“It’s okay, the comb doesn’t hurt,” Aphrodite explained, running it through her own hair, “It’ll help you with-” She motioned to my hair. “That. Situation.”

“I don’t want your help,” I said scratching at her arm in an attempt to free myself from her tight grip, “and I definitely don’t need it.”

“Just look at your hair though,” Aphrodite complained, picking up a tangled piece of it between two of her fingers, “It’s disgusting. You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

“But-” I tried to protest, digging my heels into the ground as I was being dragged off for a second time.


“Ouch,” I complained as the brush went through my hair, “What are you doing to me?”

“Brushing your hair!” Aphrodite said, in an obvious tone, “You practically begged me to do it.”

“You can change appearances,” I whined, “just make it shorter…,”

This caused her to gasp in response.”

“Make it shorter?!” Aphrodite shrieked,” Why? It’s long, pretty, and actually makes you look like a decent woman!”

The Sasha part of me wanted to leave at this point, but the other part must have a higher tolerance level for this type of person, therefore; causing her to stay right where she was.

“Be right back!” Aphrodite called, cheerily skipping out the door.

Now: Now it was time to escape. I thought I saw a back entrance when I was being dragged in.

Apparently, I had another idea. Instead of getting the heck out, I patiently waited for Aphrodite’s return.

When she did, I was terrified. I didn’t recognize that strange contraption she was holding. It looked quite sharp, and there was the possibility of her being angry about my asking of short hair.

I was fascinated with the mechanism that cut away hair. I watched contently, occasionally asking questions about it.

After a few minutes of this, a mirror was shoved in front of my face, showing me the outcome.

Shiny, tangle-free hair, a few inches shorter, now fell past my shoulders.

I pretended to be surprised. I gasped and touched a piece of it to make sure it belonged to me.

“Pretty, huh?” I nodded, “Now, come on, you’re wanted for something important.”

Aphrodite tried grabbing my arm to lead me to my destination, but I dug my heels into the ground again and shook my head in protest.

“I don’t want to be dragged anymore,” I said, putting a pouty expression on my face, “Can’t I walk by you?”

Aphrodite let out a sigh. “Fine,” she said, “Just stay where I can see you.”

I rolled my eyes and set off after her, not doing a very good job of keeping up.

After a few minutes of walking, I found a nice distraction: A shiny battle helmet. Picking it up to admire it, I decided it would look better on my head.

Before I could start, though, I got a stern talking to.

“There was one thing I forgot to mention,” Aphrodite said, “Women don’t wear things like this. Now, put it back before I have to pry it out of your hands.”

I did the exact opposite, and put the helmet on my head. My hair has looked worse, I didn’t have anything to lose.

“Take it off right now.” She demanded.

“Why?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips in a sassy manor, “Does this upset you?”

“Repeating what I said earlier: Women don’t wear things like that.”

“So, you’re saying I’m not a woman?”

“No, I’m saying- Women don’t participate in activities like war, or politics.”

“You also said women can’t read. I can read. And write a little.”

Aphrodite pointed to a sign on the door she was about to walk through. “Fine, Tell me what this says.”

“Hmm,” I say, ” ‘Keep Closed’… ”

“Pshh. No it doesn’t!”

“Yes it does, It says ‘Keep Closed’. It’s even in all capital letters, like it’s insisting to stay that way. Unless- ”

“You don’t know how much I’d love to lock you in whatever happens to be behind that door right about now.”

“Just- Take me to this important thing I’m supposed to attend. Okay?”

Aphrodite shut the door and continued walking until we both reached the Main Room. I started to break away and slip past, when someone grabbed me.

“Just where do you think you’re going with that on?”

I squeaked. I didn’t like that tone of voice. It meant I was in trouble.

I stayed silent, scanning the room for any possible escape route I could find.

“What?” The woman snapped, “Do you not speak?”

I continued my search, not bothering to answer the question that I’d just been asked.

The woman started muttering about how something lacks simple social skills, along with respect.

There. Near the west door. I ran toward the escape I’d just found, while avoiding everyone I possibly could. Until, someone stopped me in the doorway

Ey!” A voice snapped, “That’s mine, girl.”

I recognized that voice. It was one of my brothers. Ares, to be exact. Why was everyone stopping me today?

“This?” I asked pointing to the helmet I was wearing.

“Yeah,” Ares answered, “Now give it back.”

“I’ll fight you for it…” I reasoned.

“Really,” He laughed, “You think you can fight me?”

I nodded, grabbing a spear and assuming a battle position.

“Look, I don’t know what they taught you where you last lived, but women don’t fight. They stay home and take care of their families.”

“I don’t think-”

“Athena!” A voice called, “Your father requests your presence in the Throne Room.”

I quickly dropped the spear I was holding, and gave the person speaking an innocent smile. Selene, driver of the moon, stood in front of me.

“Give your brother his helmet, dear.” Selene said.

“I offered to-” I began.

“Give it back. I won’t have you wearing it where you’re going.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not proper attire. Now, hand it over.”

I sighed reluctantly, and shoved the helmet in Ares’s direction. He took it, having a victorious look on his face.

“Good girl. Now come with me,” Selene said, walking off. I
followed suit, glaring at Ares as I left.

I stood there, mesmerized. The whole room was covered in gold; Even the floor and the ceiling.

I must’ve been standing there for quite a long time, because Selene had to push me out of the doorway so she could enter.

“You stay right here, and I’ll go fetch your father,” Selene said, combing through my hair with her fingers, “Don’t you even think about wandering off.”

This, of course, increased my temptation.

I wandered around the golden room, admiring all of the shiny things that were placed just about everywhere I walked. I was especially fascinated with the weapons. I would’ve loved to get my hands on them, and not just because they shined. I was pretty much distracted, until the sound of footsteps brought me back to reality.

I quickly went to the place Selene had left me, acting like I had been engrossed in the shininess of my hair for the past few minutes.

Selene and my father entered the room, and I made sure not to look up until I heard the door shut after them.

What I didn’t realize, was how many other people followed.

“Everyone,” My father addressed the crowd, “This is my daughter, Athena.”

This announcement made me receive a whole lot of unwanted attention, which caused the sick feeling to return. I tried focusing on the gold flecks embedded in the floor.

Maybe they’ll notice that I’m not very interested in their attention and look away, I thought.

“She’s going to stay here,” He continued, “and take part my council. When she gets older, of course.”

The woman I saw earlier didn’t look too thrilled about this new announcement.

Actually, she looked furious.

Dragging my father by the arm, they both exited the room and out into the hallway.

I heard phrases like ‘How old is she? Eighteen?’ and ‘How could you do this to me?’ spoken by the woman outside.

I did not like where this was going.


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