Well, summer is finally here and I’m quite far from elated.
First off, I’m really sad to be leaving my teachers forever! I had really great ones this year, and I’ll especially miss my English teacher and class. My friends were all in it and I actually felt comfortable expressing myself rather than crumpling into a tiny antisocial ball.
It was actually kind of distressing saying goodbye. And really, really awkward.
You know my science teacher? The one I’ve been complaining about all year?
He and I used to get into these massive debates and arguments at the smallest things, especially on his tests. I had big issues with the tiniest remarks he made. It usually ended at a stalemate, and I only ever gained back like 4 bonus points from all those debates about his weird correct answers.
He gave me a book titled “A Rulebook for Arguments.” Welp.
His note in it was actually touching from someone who always seemed to dislike me, and that gives me all the more reason to feel sad about leaving a year that…wasn’t actually that bad.
I’m terrified about high school.
I don’t know how I’ll ever make friends, how I’ll ever complete any assignments, how I’ll ever make a good impression, how I’ll ever do well in classes! All these fears plague me.
I definitely don’t want to think about it.
But the other thing on my mind is that I have about 3 days of freedom before I have to board a 20-hour flight. To an even scarier destination.
I’m going to China for a month to visit relatives, and visiting relatives is awkward enough. I probably won’t have any internet connection!!!! How am I going to survive?
Especially in big loud cities. I’m really not a city dweller; I’m fit for the suburbs! That’s where I thrive! (preferably a nice, quiet, and open-space suburb area. That’s kinda nonexistent in China.)
I’m also miserably awful at Mandarin. I can understand it perfectly fine, but speaking it is another story. I won’t be able to communicate with anyone at all!!!!!
Relative: Tian Tian!!! Ni hao ma??? Hen da!!!!!!! dkfadfdkjfakfkafjdafk!??!?!
Me: Si…?? (NERVOUS LAUGHING)
I’m literally going to end up speaking Spanish because I can form better sentences in that language than in Mandarin.
But yeah, I’m going to get crowded around as everyone goes “Wow she’s so big now! She’s all grown up! She’s gotten quite fat!” etc. My parents’ Asian friends always say that about me, and I’m like, “I saw you two weeks ago.”
I’m so nervous. And I won’t get any sleep there either. And packing is really stressful. (also: kind of weird interlude but I was checking the TSA regulations and it says nail polish remover and alcohol are allowed in checked baggage but any flammable liquids are prohibited in both carry-on and checked bags. I AM CONFUSE??)
It’s been a very lazy summer so far. I just stay at home and rewatch Arrested Development and Doctor Who. In fact, I almost went out to the real world today! Almost! Aren’t you proud of me?
My friend invited me to go see Iron Man 3 with her, but then my mom didn’t want to drive me to the theater. But, you know, Rainfall nearly went out to socialize. That should be enough.
I have been crafting though, albeit badly.
I made a bracelet for my grandmother, but then I dropped all the beads and they all rolled into oblivion. I managed to track down every bead except for one!! And I need it by tonight. It’s as if it’s just decided to poof away.
I also made a couple of wire’s bird nest charms, but they’re kind of ugly. And I nearly strangled myself with the guage wire!
Yeah, I don’t know if crafting is for me…but they’re really shiny! @___@
Nervous, nervous, nervous…I gotta wake up at 4Am and then go onto one of my worst fears…EEEE is the sound my anxiety makes! Helllllllp!