Point the first: Chat?
The last three days have been crazy!
Maybe I should cut down on long, rambling posts.
- Angsty whinging makes everyone roll their eyes
- Exams are not as bad as they sound this semester
- Shuffle meme is amusing!
On Wednesday, it was actually a nice day. I liked it, but of course I totally punched myself in the gutbecause only I can turn a good day into a miserable one.
I’ve been wanting to talk to him forever, and even though I’ve had dozens of chances, this was the only one I grabbed.
I saw him sitting alone like the moody and sulky person he had turned into. I knew that school was out in 6 days and it was my last chance to say something. The something I had always been too terrified to consider.
I had gotten over him years ago, but I never got found my way across one more bridge. I missed our friendship. I wanted to renew it and stop being so avoiding of each other.
He was holding a guitar, and I knew this would be my conversation starter. I anticipated that he would slip into the humorous boy I once knew. Perhaps he would take on a tolerant and amiable mask just for my sake, even for a couple of minutes, however much I may have repelled him.
I misjudged. I smiled and broke out my first sentence to him in two years: “Are you playing the guitar?”
He peered over the case with a distinct resentment, and that was when my heart started going into overdrive. I shed away all false pretenses of pleasantness. “I wanted to come talk to you. I’ve gotten the impression that you think I hate you.”
“I thought you did.”
I had no idea how to react. I didn’t even know what I was expecting, maybe even a comforting lie. I started my awkwardness and sprouted out things about how I never hated him. He dropped the bomb on me immediately.
“Then why have you ignored me for two years?”
I felt a flash of anger for his injustice, but that sagged away and on came the overwhelming guilt. I must have been the most awful person in the world.
I began my stuttering and stumbling. I tried to tell him how things had always been awkward between us, and how could they not? I never intentionally ignored him, and I only thought that he wouldn’t want us to be close. I had only ever thought of his feelings. I thought he looked down on me. I thought he would shun me.
I knew I overstayed my welcome, so I left. I’m not sure what the last thing I said to him was, but I have the terrible feeling it was quite cutting. I even ignored him as I walked away.
I keep protesting to myself that he was at fault too; after all, he’s the one who averted all my glances and got carted away in the first place. But I know I can’t pile up the blame on him that conveniently.
I drowned out my sorrows by taking a nap on the floor and watching Arrested Development.
Speaking of which, I’m totally hooked. It’s been less than a week and I’m already on the 3rd season! Unfortunately, it’s the last one. But a new season comes out May! After nearly 10 years! It’s long overdue.
Well, I actually shouldn’t be watching Arrested Development. I should be studying for exams. The great thing is that I only have one more on Monday!
My math exam was ages before, and the Spanish exam was really easy. Since there wasn’t an exam for Algebra, and my parents couldn’t pick me up, I got to stay in my teacher’s room for three hours with five other kids I barely knew. Note: I’m awful at the game Sorry.
I think my science teacher’s just given up on everyone. Our exam was 50 questions of varying things, and they were all something like this:
All matter is made of atoms. What is all matter made of?
b) 99 red balloons
c) magical matter dust
And as for USH…hjfadjfj!!!!
I could’ve been the first person to get perfect marks on everything, but I ended up second guessing myself. I couldn’t remember some obscure treaty, so I guessed the right answer. Then I changed it to the wrong answer. And then ended up with a 99/100.
It isn’t bad by any means, but I can’t help but be disappointed! So close…so very close.
I am a bit worried about my English exam, though, since I lost my review packet.
Either way, exams are actually very simple this semester! I may have panicked for little reason.
And now…the cool song shuffle soundtrack Nireth made! (along with my favorite lyrics of the song so you get some context! For this reason, I’ll be omitting my score and musical [As in stuff like Les Mis and N2N, not songs with music] songs…and too many My Little Pony songs)
Buddy Holly — Weezer
I don’t care what they say about us anyway / I don’t care ’bout that
2. Preparing for the Big Event
Catch My Disease — Ben Lee
My head is a box filled with nothing / And that’s the way I like it / My garden’s a secret compartment / And that’s the way I like it
3. The Guests Arrive
Dumb — Nirvana
I’m not like them / But I can pretend / The sun is gone / But I have a light
4. Who’s That Boy/Girl?
Cannonball — Damien Rice
Stones taught me to fly / Love, it taught me to lie / Life, it taught me to die / So it’s not hard to fall / When you float like a cannonball
(ooh, I love this one!)
5. The Banquet
Whatever’s Left — Snow Patrol
I struggle and sweat when I’m wide awake / When I know I’m fine, I’m not used to fine
6. Well that was… Not what I expected
The Wolves — Ben Howard
Falling from high places, falling through lost spaces / Now that we’re lonely, now that there’s nowhere to go / Watching from both sides, these clock towers burning up / I lost my time here, I lost my patience with it all
7. Singing on the Balcony
Starring Role — Marina & the Diamonds
Sometimes I ignore you / So I feel in control / But really, I adore you / and I can’t leave you alone
8. S/He heard me/What’s your name?
How We Love — Ingrid Michaelson
She smelled like cinnamon and winter clove / and sparked like firewood inside a stove / Wanted to ask her just to sit and stay / Instead he watched as she walked away
Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle — Nirvana
She’ll come back as fire, to burn all the liars / And leave a blanket of ash on the ground
10. Morning Search/Does anyone know where I can find (X)?
Boston — Augustana
Essential yet appealed / Carry all your thoughts across an open field / When flowers gaze at you / They’re not the only ones who cry when they see you
11. My Sister’s Wedding/Royal Wedding
White Winter Hymnal — Fleet Foxes
I was following, I was following, I was following the pack / With scars of red tied ’round their throats / To keep their little heads / From falling in the snow
(sounds like a sinister wedding?)
12. Something’s Stirring
Run — Daughter
Don’t know what we’re doing / Don’t know what we’ve done / But the fire is coming / So I think we should run
13. The Dance
Cassius — Foals
The wind is in, the wind is in my heart / Now what you’ve got has always gone away / Cassius! Cassius! / At best, it’s all that we could do
14. Spying/a New Partner-in-Crime
Lost and Found — Katie Herzig
An escape from the world I’m in / Oh, I’m afraid of the world I’m in
15. Midnight Expeditions
Summertime Sadness — Lana Del Rey
I’ve got on my red dress on tonight / Dancing in the pale moonlight / Got my hair up real big beauty queen style / High heels off, I’m feeling alive
16. We Shouldn’t Have Done That
C’est la Mort — The Civil Wars
Let’s walk down the road that has no end / Steal away where only angels tread / Heaven or hell or somewhere in between / Cross your heart to take me when you leave
17. Running/Did they see us?
She — Green Day
Are you locked up in a world / That’s been planned out for you / Are you feeling like a social tool without a use / Scream at me until my ears bleed / I’m taking heed just for you
18. Omens and Consequences
All These Things That I’ve Done — The Killers
I want to stand up, I want to let go / You know, you know / No you don’t, you don’t / I want to shine on in the hearts of men / I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
19. Research in the Library
Seven Devils — Florence + the Machine
Holy water cannot help you now / A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out / I don’t want your money, I don’t want your crown / See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down
20. Finding the secret passage/a clue!
Calgary — Bon Iver
Open ears and open eyes / Wake up to your starboard bride / Who goes in and then stays inside / Oh the demons come, they can subside
You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring
Another clever word / Sets off an unsuspecting herd / And as you step back into line / A mob jumps to their feet
22. Fight Back/Rescued
Angels — Within Temptation
This world may have failed you / It doesn’t give the reason why / You could have chosen a different path of life
23. Putting it together/We were right/The Kiss
Keep the Streets Empty For Me — Fever Ray
Memory comes when memory’s old / I am never the first to know / Following the stream up north / Where do people like us float
24. Final Confrontation
Flaws (Acoustic) — Bastille
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve / And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground / Dig them up, let’s finish what we’ve started / Dig them up, so nothing’s left unturned
(what a mild confrontation)
25. (Near) Death Scene
Thistle & Weeds — Mumford & Sons
Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams / Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams / I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind / Alone in the wind and the rain you left me / It’s getting dark darling, too dark to see / And I’m on my knees, and your faith in shreds, it seems
(this sounds like an interesting death scene)
26. Avenge the fallen
How to Disappear Completely — Radiohead
I’m not here / This isn’t happening / I’m not here, I’m not here
27. Victory (OR Flight)Danger will follow me
The Blower’s Daughter — Damien Rice
And so it is / Just like you said it would be / Life goes easy on me / Most of the time / And so it is / No love or glory / No hero in her skies
I Will Follow You Into the Dark — Death Cab For Cutie
Love of mine, someday you will die / But I’ll be close behind / I’ll follow you into the dark
(I like how this one worked out as well)
30. What’s next?/Confessions
Wrapped Around Your Finger — The Police
Mephistopheles is not your name / But I know what you’re up to just the same
31. Closing monologue
Everywhere I Go — Lissie
Danger will follow me everywhere I go / Angels will call on me / And take me to my home / This tired mind just wants to be led home
That was fun! Thank you for making this, Nireth!