I couldn’t resist…

Well, I’ve begun to troll my classmates on our classroom group, 8M Help Group, on FaceBook. It basically consists of me annoying the hell out of everyone by using Smart Talk. Just for fun, I’ll show you (with bolding of names and two spaces between comments for your easy viewing) my recent Smart-Talking and annoying. (I come in a bit later, after everyone has had their fun commenting, and I’m sure my friends wouldn’t mind their last names [most of which, surprisingly, are fake] being shown on this blog):

Alex Sydenham
I HATE THIS SOUND SO MUCH FINGERNAILS ON THE BLACKBOARD SOUNDS LIK MOZART!!!!!!!! AAAAARRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like · · Unfollow Post · September 18 at 9:26pm

Charlie Britzman are you kidding me mozart is amazing. your an idiot not to appreciate such an exsiquist man.
September 19 at 3:56pm · Like · 3

Alex Sydenham u dont get wat im saying charlie
September 19 at 3:57pm via mobile · Like

Charlie Britzman really?
September 19 at 3:57pm · Like

Alex Sydenham yep
September 19 at 3:58pm via mobile · Like

Charlie Britzman what do you mean
September 19 at 3:58pm · Like

Charlie Britzman this entire post makes no scence
September 19 at 3:59pm · Like

Alex Sydenham Im saying this sound is so bad it makes nails on a blackboard sound lik mozart which means it makes the blackboard sound good
September 19 at 4:00pm via mobile · Like

Charlie Britzman WTF
September 19 at 6:39pm · Like

Alex Sydenham well it is random
September 19 at 6:40pm · Like

Charlie Britzman ya dont say
September 19 at 6:42pm · Like

Alex Sydenham yep
September 19 at 6:43pm · Like

Dominic Gould Alex u r retarded
September 21 at 7:46am via mobile · Like · 1

Alex Sydenham i had to say wat happened in my mind
September 21 at 3:39pm · Like

Lili Claire Meunier mozart, really. apparently according 2 ‘snog, marry avoid’ if u find a brick or concrete wall, and u have a sharp nail, u shuld use the wall to file it. I tried and my nail actually broke
September 22 at 8:15pm · Like · 2

Alex Sydenham wow
September 22 at 8:16pm · Like

Alex Sydenham that should have hurt
September 22 at 8:21pm · Like

Lili Claire Meunier sound painful, but it actually isnt, u shoukld try it 1 day
September 22 at 8:33pm · Like

Alex Sydenham no thanks
September 22 at 8:46pm · Like

Haydn Pierre-Louis Shaw Alex is just trying to go back on what he said because of Charlie, and now he is saying retarded things but doesn’t mean them. He is fully aware of what he is doing, eh Alex
Monday at 9:13am via mobile · Like · 1

Alex Sydenham ……….. thanks for saying that haydn
Monday at 3:29pm · Like

Nicola Drake On the contrary; Alex is most likely blissfully unaware of the noncreditable and frankly quite silly words that he types and shows to the world – or rather, just 8M Help Group, but anything on the Internet may be exposed to the world, although that point is unimportant at the moment. If my hypothesis (which unfortunately can only be proved using the Scientific Method – and I am feeling rather lazy) is correct, this means that Alex is not to blame; his mind and its complex, broken, metaphoric clockwork gears are to blame.
about an hour ago · Like

Nicola Drake DO YOU COMPREHEND THIS?
about an hour ago · Like

Nicola Drake For those who do not understand (of which I hope will only be few), the translation reads: Alex doesn’t know he says stupid things because his brain works in strange ways.
58 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham that taught me a lesson
55 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham plus i found that offensive
54 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake To your first comment, I’m glad to help. To your second comment, I apologise profusely. But I am sure you will forgive me, as I taught you a lesson and lessons are valuable (you will forgive me, right?).
37 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham yes
34 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Although, might I emphasize this particular bit of your post: “I HATE this sound so much.” Now, allow me to quote one of your comments on this post: “Im saying this sound is so bad it makes nails on a blackboard sound lik mozart which means it makes the blackboard sound good”. The only logical inference… is that you detest good sounds, which, on many levels, doesn’t make any sense (unless you have acousticophobia, which still doesn’t make much sense because that would mean you wouldn’t even think any sound was good, let alone Mozart).
32 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham ok
30 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Wow, Alex. All that, and in return I receive “ok”.
19 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake I ask you to explain yourself. Are you either:
18 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake a) illiterate and acousticophobic
18 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake or b) simply inconsistent in the things you say?
18 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Please enlighten me.
16 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham STOP USING SMART TALK
11 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham i liked it better when u were normal
11 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake That line…
10 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake has crossed.
10 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham oh
10 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake I’m sorry. I truly am. But now on FaceBook I wish nothing more than to annoy the heck out of you.
10 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham PLEASE U ALREADY R
10 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake I know – that’s simply because I’m so good at doing it. And my journey of annoying everyone is only beginning. *lightning cracks*
5 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham rightio
5 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham please stop
5 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Not even an hour has passed and I can already feel the very bonds of your human figure dissolving into nothingness (of course, that would be impossible as matter can be neither destroyed, nor created, but when I say “dissolving into nothingness” I mean dissolving into some sort of colourless, odourless gas).
2 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham xfcbhjklm;
about a minute ago · Like

Nicola Drake What? Surely even you know the rule of destroying and creating matter!
a few seconds ago · Like

————————

This smart talk thing is actually easier than I had expected. Stop reading this post now or read below the official “I’M USING SMART TALK” post I made in 8M Help Group.

————————

Nicola Drake
Greetings, again. I have an announcement.

From this moment on and forevermore, I shall be using the so-called “derivative” of English, “Smart Talk”. I shall also be debating on and analysing every single thing each and every one of you say, in the hopes of annoying you immensely.

The reason I will be using unnecessarily long words is because I wish to entertain myself by confusing the class and testing my several different hypotheses pertaining to our beloved classmate, Alex Sydenham.

If you are curious about these hypotheses, I shall only give you one of these hypotheses in order to satisfy your probably insatiable thirst of curiosity. That hypothesis is that I believe Alex will absolutely explode and disintegrate into minute pieces consisted of small bonds of atoms. My assumption is based on the fact that he becomes incredibly confused whenever I talk normally, so he can’t possibly survive if I start using Smart Talk. We shall use the Scientific Method to test my hypothesis; after the Observation and Hypothesis one must conduct an Experiment. My experiment has simply the following steps:

1. Use Smart Talk.
2. Observe Alex’s form when we are back at school and decide whether or not he has disitengrated into infinitesimally small pieces.

Hm. That is all. Au revoir.
Like · · Unfollow Post · 34 minutes ago

Tombahesh Langham likes this.

Nicola Drake Thomas has Gangnam Swag.
28 minutes ago · Like · 1

Tombahesh Langham hahahaha oh yes my aqcuaintance nicola. But surely you obtain more Swagger than me. S.W.A.G does stand for Something We Asians Got.
23 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Hm. I do feel rather glad you have declared yourself as my acquaintance (you are permitted to be my sidekick, if you wish, but let us discuss that matter another time) and I applaud your talent at using Smart Talk. On the point of S.W.A.G., I am happy to gain new knowledge about the origin of the word “swag”. No matter if only Asians can obtain swag; you can just diguise yourself as an Asian. Do this by wearing glasses and talking in Smart Talk with an Asian accent.
16 minutes ago · Like · 1

Tombahesh Langham hahaha some people also believe S.W.A.G was a term used in the late 50’s for Gay Men. It stood for Secretly We Are Gay.
13 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Quite interesting! If both meanings are correct at the same time (which is highly unlikely, but let us believe hypothetically that they are both correct) that means that only gay, Asian men can have S.W.A.G. Unfortunately, this means I am out of the running for having S.W.A.G.
9 minutes ago · Like · 1

Nicola Drake Well, the universe wouldn’t rule out the possibility of me actually being a gay man, but the probability is so infinitesimal that we should just pretend such probability doesn’t exist. Quite disrespectful to Mathematics, and Science in some way, it is true, but… I honestly do not wish to be a gay man. Perhaps I could be a straight woman. I would still like the same gender of human being.
8 minutes ago · Like · 1

Nicola Drake Wow. I seem to ramble a lot in Smart Talk mode.
7 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham GUYS I HAVE NO SWAG I HAVE MOJO
7 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham better than swag
7 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Define “mojo”.
6 minutes ago · Like

Alex Sydenham yep
4 minutes ago · Like

Nicola Drake Alex, that is an imperative sentence – in other words, a command – not a “yes or no” question.
about a minute ago · Like

Tombahesh Langham hahaha Nicola, you are the man. That smart talk is epic! But i think I know the perfect candidate for S.W.A.G is (considering it is Gay Asian Men). One Aidan Rahman fits the category quite perfectly.
about a minute ago · Like

Nicola Drake You make me laugh, Thomas! You deserve an online emoticon – here it is. –> 😀
a few seconds ago · Like

——————–

Well, I’d better finish this post because the conversation is still going and it’s hilarious!

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7 thoughts on “I couldn’t resist…

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