this is the queue of people who’d want to date me

no pushing pls



It’s funny because when I was younger boys were the last thing on my mind.

My sister once told me that I said, “I don’t need a prince, I just want books and Reading Rainbow.”

Of course, I still have a similar philosophy. I don’t really need a boy in my life. I’m too young for one, and a female’s purpose in life isn’t to have a husband. That’s like, the 1200s.

In fact, I’ve never even considered a family because I simply don’t care for one.

But I still have to wonder what having someone genuinely care for you is like. I feel like I always have these little crushes because otherwise there’s no way I’d ever let my feelings run any wilder. As an INFP, I’m a pretty sparse one since I’m so closed off.

My old ex (what was I thinking?!) got sent to an ALC for marijuana. I mean, really? That’s what annoys me about my supposedly “prestigious” school. That he’s not the only one with drug misuse.

He used to be, albeit a little wild, really sweet. And it saddens me.

This year I’m crushing hopelessly on…

A guy my friends attempt to make me jealous about. I think it’s because they feel like they’ve known him longer so they have a tag on him. Or maybe they just like him too. I don’t know, but they aren’t subtle about it and it makes me feel like I really need to back off.

The worst part is that my crush on him isn’t even that large. Because I really get irritated by him and he can be incredibly rude. I say he’s a crush, but now that I think about it, he really isn’t. Because maybe he can be the guy who walks me to class or ask me about stupid things, but he’s still the same guy who backstabs about it and then is pushed away from me by my friends.

The second guy is a person I can just simply laugh over without feeling forlorn. He’s just a guy in one of my classes who looks like the offspring of one of my OTPs. And a guy I used to know in 5th grade who ate worms. Ergh.

He’s cute and our conversations are so awkward even I can laugh about it.

I’m sorry for acting like a delusional person all the time.


Look at my decorated shoes though!! 8D



4 thoughts on “this is the queue of people who’d want to date me

  1. I think that the reason the queue of people looks empty is because it’s just the last few rows!! The other thousand are COMPLETELY FULL!!!!!

    I kind of know how you feel–about the few crushes thing? I get a crush on like… maybe one guy, every three or so years, but they’re REALLY long and REALLY bad!!

    I’m sorry about your ex!! D: That sounds almost surreal!!

    The first guy sounds cool, but the second guy sounds perfect!! ^^ And don’t worry if you don’t feel strong feelings for either one at first–like you said, you’re still young, and crushes tend to fluctuate over time!! I’m sure your heart will sort things out in time!!


  2. Ah, boys.

    Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.

    Wow, marijuana? That’s, like, seriously… wrong. May I ask how old he was? (Oh, and look on the bright side about your ex – at least someone HAS dated you. You have not been alone forever. *wallows in self pity*)

    I have multi-crushes. It’s not even funny, because it’s so annoying. Currently I have on crush on four boys, which means I get nervous at school a lot, because I have more chance of running into my crush…es. And it’s not a pretty sight when all four of them approach me at once.

    Those shoes. 😯 Me want!

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