The Amazingly Annoying and Stupid Yet Helpful French Problem

Ha! This is a funny skit, telling you guys about this little problem I have at the moment to do with French. Oh, and I couldn’t help but add in how “time of the month” can mean two things.

Kind of like what I did in this post, but instead of my Being and the Alison’s Story characters, I have included Harry Potter characters, myself and my Being.



The Burrow. Interior. Day.

Nicola: Guys… I have a little problem.

Ron: *groans* Don’t start laying all your period bollocks on me! I’ve heard quite enough about it from Ginny, thanks very much, and I am a man and don’t deserve to be burdened with that type of information!

Pandora: Ooh, did you know Ginny and Lupin’s times of the month are synchronised?

Ron: [disgusted] No, and I did not need to know that!

Tonks: Nor did I!

Nicola: Hello – back to me, please! I need some help.

Hermione: What for, Nicola?

Nicola: I… am becoming French.

Tonks: Ooh, brilliant, you can shut Fleur up for us!

Nicola: No, you misunderstand! Everywhere I go, I see French. I see a billboard – it says, “The fastest car in ten years,” and I say in my brain, “La plus vite voiture en dix ans!” Because… because I just can’t help translating everything I see into French, and sometimes when I forget a word in English I replace it with the French word. That’s not normal at all! Aidez-moi!

Hermione: [thoughtfully] Actually, I think it’s a sign that means you’re really getting into the swing of learning French. You pick it up much faster than your classmates, right? It’s probably because of all those mini exercises you do in your brain, translating everything.

Malfoy: I disagree. She’s going mental. Let’s ship her off to St. Mungo’s now.

Ron and Hermione: Malfoy!

Pandora: When did you get here?

Nicola: Yes, how long have you been eavesdropping, Mal Foi? Wait… *begins to giggle uncontrollably*

Tonks: Hi, cousin. Oh, whoops, I think I put the Giggling Potion in Nicola’s cup instead of Sirius’…

Malfoy: What in the name of Merlin’s boxers is so funny?

Nicola: *more giggling* HAHAHA! MERLIN’S BOXERS!

Hermione: Oh, no, I think we’ve waken up the ghoul…

*there are several loud bangs from upstairs*

Ron: *sighs* I’ll calm him down. *gets up to leave*

Pandora: Calm down, Nicola!

Nicola: *ceases giggling immediately at Pandora’s words* Oh, that was strange.

Malfoy: Tell me what was funny.

Nicola: Oh, well there was your comment about Merlin’s boxers… *starts to giggle*

Tonks: Calm down.

Nicola: *stops giggling instantly* Right. And then… I just discovered the etymology of your last name. Mal foi is French for bad faith. So that basically means… your name is Dragon Bad Faith! *cries as she giggles again*

Hermione: Calm down.

Nicola: *stops* Thanks. Well, now we’ve finished with that, have you got any suggestions as to what I can do with my French problem?

Malfoy: Just talk it off with that Delacour girl.

Tonks: You mean Fleur? Nah, she comes in the house, she turns it into a snobby dump.

Malfoy: It would be an improvement.

Tonks, Hermione, Pandora, Nicola: *glare*

Tonks: You could Obliviate yourself and forget French.

Hermione: No! However would she continue with her studies?

Pandora: Oh, you guys, isn’t it simple?

Tonks, Malfoy, Hermione: No.

Pandora: I didn’t think so either.

*silence, then Ron enters with a ghoul attached to his back, scratching him painfully everywhere*

Ron: Ahh, a little help here? Ouch, you bloody ghoul, that’s my private spot!

Nicola: *doesn’t stop giggling until dawn*


2 thoughts on “The Amazingly Annoying and Stupid Yet Helpful French Problem

  1. This was soo funny! Wow, your getting good at French. I wish over here in the states that we took spanish so much I would forget english words. *sigh* Though, I have the sudden urge to keep asking “Como Estas.” Aha, Malfoys name cx. GIGGLE POTION! *sniffs* At least Siruis is alive here..

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