Today, something came over me to go check the Poptropica Help Blog chatroom. For what reason? I’m not sure myself, but I found my old middle school asylum dead, moved & hardly recognizable. I remember being so into WordPress, blogging, all things online and expressing myself through a QWERTY keyboard. But time really is crazy, and it scares me how easy it is for our brains to dispose what once was everything to us.
Since putting in my two weeks in the Poptropica WordPress universe under the logic of “I’m about to be in high school and I’m getting too old,” I’ve took up other ways of conveying a persona. Twitter became my favorite app, I started writing poetry and I even made a mixtape as a Soundcloud rapper. I made new online friends, as it was probably inevitable, and pushed my old interests to the back of my mind. I now like to go to the gym, run track, read, write (still), paint and vlog from time to time.
But now being a senior in high school with a semester left until I venture into adulthood, I’m nostalgic. I noticed more and more a decline of interest in drawing, online gaming, the internet, and everything else I occupied my time with in my tween years. It’s all apart of growth, sure, but I feel like once I left this behind, I left a part of me behind. A part of me that paved way for me right now. A part of me that right now I wish was still familiar. I have the same passion and creativity that manifests themselves in other forms, but I lack the affinity of what I had potential in — all because I was bored and impulsively decided that I was too old and it was time for me to change.
I could blame my fear of labels, being predictable and stagnant until veins pop out my neck, but that only proves my point that I did this for the potential of how others could view me instead of the potential of a new version of myself. I see there are authors in this blog that are now in college, I see Hijuyo is the only author I recognize over at PHB, and I see that my bio here has not been updated since I was 12. I’m now 17, going to be 18 in April.
I grew up online, and purposely left a gap that I feel is missing but is filled with real life experience and introspection. Instead of being up on chatrooms at 3 in the morning, I talk to myself and reflect (or tweet). And truly, I’ll never know how my teenage years would’ve panned out had I stayed in this universe. I sacrificed growing and bartering information with those my age through the magic of the internet to being the only one surrounded by the stubborn. It wasn’t worth it, but I feel that I said enough and there is nothing I can do to change time and it’s honestly too late.
In short, I’m thankful for this community for, not being apart, but for BEING my tweenage years when I was asocial, chubby and, regretfully, had a liking for One Direction. I’m not MonkeyTacoz anymore, and the real world sucks. Being on the laptop all day is much, much better. It’s nice to see authors keeping this blog alive. I love to see growth and people my age being creative and unapologetically themselves (one thing I wish I was consistent at). Not everyone in the world will or can understand us, so don’t learn to hate what you love to do. Happy new years, everyone. 🙂