Even though I can’t follow a plot to save my life, I have much better writing skills than I did last year . Grammar and the use of more descriptive words improved a lot and I have a better vocabulary. And I know what paragraphing is, which makes this story easier to read. Check out the samples. The storyis part of Camile’s Story.
Last Year: I was sitting in my room with Cat. Well,our room. Cat and I share a room now. We were really bored,and were looking for something to do. “Hey,you wanna go downstairs?” Cat asked walking toward the door. “Sure” I said following her.After we got downstairs,I saw Bast eating Cookeh’s Kitten Chow. ”Bast what are you-” I began “Hey,that’s Cookeh’s!” ”Sorry” Bast said with her mouth full of Kitten food. Wow,My life is weirder than I thought. “Mom!” Cat said “That’s so embarassing!” ”Okay Bast,”I said “we’ll have fish tonight. IF you stay away from Cookeh’s food.” Bast’s eyes lit up “Deal!” She said walking away from the food bowl.
“Uh,Camile”Cat said “maybe we should go back upstairs.” “But,you just came from upstairs!” Bast said
“Uh,”I said thinking up a quick lie “we’re gonna do our hair” “Okay,” Bast said “have fun!”
We quickly walked up the stairs and shut the door.
This Year[Same Scenario]:
Cat and I were sitting in our room, and were looking for something to cure our boredom.
“Hey, you wanna go downstairs and see if our parents need help with anything?” Cat asked, getting up off the floor, and headed toward the door.
“Sure, Sounds great.” I said following behind her.
After we got downstairs, I saw Bastet eating Cookeh’s Cat food.
“Bastet, What are you-” I began , “Ew, Gross; That’s Cookeh’s!”
“Sorry” Bastet said with her mouth full of Cat food.
‘Wow,’ I thought, ‘My life just keeps getting weirder…’
“Mom!” Cat whined, noticing what Bastet was doing,”That’s so embarrassing!”
“Okay Bastet,”I said “If you stay away from Cookeh’s food; we’ll have fish for dinner tonight.”
“Deal!” Bastet exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement. She backed away from the food bowl.
“Hey Camile,”Cat said “Can we go back upstairs?”
“But you just came from there…” Bastet pointed out.
“We were going to Uh, Do our hair,” I said, coming up with a quick lie.
“Just remember to come down for dinner, Okay?” Dad said from his spot in the kitchen.
We ran up the stairs and shut the door to my room behind us.